| I just can't let go. I know this is stupid, shut up.
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| why am i being so mean to you?
it's cause every time i feel it,
i know i'm gonna fall again.
and you know what? the only way
is to hate you now, so
when you leave, i don't get hurt.
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| aiya!! cannot get over this... so impossible. nearly gonna kill me. feel so right when it's going good, but in between i'm so lost without your words. goshness. so confuzzlinggg la!
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| a new year, a new cookie to crumble in life's chapters of macy mak. truely, i am thankful to everyone who has effected my life in some way. i want to thank everyone who made my life easier and was willing give me your hand for support. i want to thank everyone who hurt me. i know, weird...why thank you? well, it's you awfully disguised people out there who make me realize that people actually look and think about me that way. i know i need to make alotta changes to my life although i dont usually just change randomly to please people..., but certainly its a flaw that is a suggestion to be worked on. i'll treat it as constructive criticism. i think this year has brought me many new strong emotions. switching from grade 9 to 10. at school, it has always been a hassle, the homework...stress...exams and tests...not to mention all the drama! but then it opens new doors for us to be experienced in... i remember in the early months in 2007....grade 9, i would fuss about all these teachers...about how they're all annoying as hell....and pressuring, rushing...so damn much. but then as we ending in june i noticed how hard they all worked to make teach us.....to comfort and to encourage. this blog is really useless actually if you're actually reading this its just a bunch of my BS reflecting haha, discontinue reading now. cause i'm gonna ....talk some really random crap now. yay! so.......i wonder what will happen this year. i'm predicting that theres gonna be some major break ups and some relationships in school.....i'm actually really interesting in going on some homestays or soemthng.....sounds so fun....oh and i think i'm going to hk (finally) and maybe tw this summmerrrr......i actually dont wanna go so badly....cause i think i'm gonna grow more...still so the clothes and SHOES wont fit me ...for that long....*sigh*......in hk/tw i wanna get my....nails/hair and eyelashes done....get some........awesomeful facials......*sigh* buy a bunch of crap. eat alotta food.....try not to get fatter than i already am....hahah omg i wanna loose like....................10 pounds..............................................................gahh i'm getting so....big LOL. i'm tired of you buttholes calling me fat! and my mommy pinching me! and not being able to wear clothes that i wanna....it's a pretty sad feeling. i feel like such a failure sometimes.....cause i know i'd feel so much better with that 10 lbs off. i know how ppl always say i'm like the right size or whatever or it's being healthy that counts etcetc crap like that ...........i only wanna loose it cause of my own benefits about personal self confidence. omgggg BRACES off in like....2 months?! teehe finally. actually it's only been like....1 and 1/2 years....faster than most...but still it's been a loonngggg timeee. i wanna feel the smooth tongue gliding accross my teeth again. not some nasty metal shit. geez. lalal what else....hey look! it's like 4 AM hahaha.........i skipped 2 days without working on my damn career research portfolio project....iunn even know if i can finish it....it's so hard and frustrating ...i have so many ideas but they're so un-do-able in this short supplied time....*sigh*....anyway...i'm gonna go sleeeep now...byebyeee :)
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| complicated. frustrated. end of segment.
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